All the Steps that Lead Us Here

When I was younger I was so sure nothing could get better than sitting on my sidewalk eating a freezie with my good friends Alex, Brian, and Ryan. I never knew things would change, but inevitably they did, all three friends moved, Ryan moved out of my life, Brian moved far away, and Alex moved across town but closer in friendship. We all began to grow up, and I always had Alex right there by my side. Alex found endeavors that sparked his interest, I tried to follow. This began a long period of time where Alex would move and I would attempt to follow in some way, but it always ended with me in failure. Years passed by and I live in the shadow of my best friend, it wasn't his fault it, he never stopped loving me, but after so long of never being able to be the same person he was I fell away. I fell away into a whole lot of darkness. I was swallowed and I was angry. Sure I was a little angry at myself and my parents, but I was really angry at Alex, why was he so much better than me. I never knew Alex was praying for me, but thank God he was. Little by very little I began to accept invites to Powerhouse, little by very little my heart began to let down its barrier. Eventually God had me. Then he began a new work. Slowly I began to see that Alex was not some stealth enemy in friend clothing, but he was a genuine friend who loved me, but I became so blind with jealousy that I wasn't musical or athletic. I started to realize the gifts and passions God had given me, through this knowledge I became aware of my love for the arts and for film, I became aware of a whole new kind of music and way of life, I became aware that Alex is my greatest friend, and that I never had to be anything but me for him to like me, and that I could be my own person and it be okay. I really like who I'm becoming through God's wisdom and mercy, and I look forward to the life that God has laid in front of me. Ryan is gone, Brian is distant, and Alex is at my side, and it has taken many steps to lead us here.