A Bit of My Thoughts...I Hope People Read My Blog Hehe

So it has become aware to me that I need to understand that I am not a revolutionist, I need to understand that I don't want to change the world, and I also understand that it needs to be okay if my friends do. Awhile ago I was asked to join a couple friends in Europe after college and in my head I thought "hey what a cool idea" but as I continue to move further towards college and real life I realize that I don't want to live this revolutionary bohemian lifestyle in Europe. Short of winning an oscar or even producing a widely released movie, I'd be happy just getting married, having kids, working at an advertising agency in the city, commuting every day, and coming back home to wife and kids and living the comfortable American dream with the woman and children I love, I don't want to be roaming everywhere, at least not from where I stand right now. There is only one thing I want out of life and that is to love, and love deeply, and if I have that then everything else can crash and burn around me.

Don't get me wrong people. I would love to be able to create a story so profound that it touches just one person's life, and even more I'd love to be able to live out my dream of making visual stories come to life without worrying about whether or not I can get another job doing it, but if thats not in the cards then I'm learning to be okay with that.

It hurts sometimes to think that the friendships I've tried building are always overshadowed by someone elses friendship to that person, and it hurts to know that by going to Judson and seperating and putting more distance between me and the ones i love will make our friendship grow more difficult.

Sometime life hurts, but in the end it's okay.

I hope and pray I can go off to school and make friendships that become as dear to me as the people I'll be leaving behind, but for now I can make the best of the rest of our time together.

I would now like to post lyrics to the song Crash and Burn by Savage Garden:

When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart
I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you
It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold
When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take anymore

Let me be the one you call
If you jump i'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

When you feel all alone
And a loyal friend is hard to find
You're caught in a one way street
With the monsters in your head
When hopes and dreams are far away and
You feel like you can't face the day

Let me be the one you call
If you jump i'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

'Cause there has always been heartache and pain
And when it's over you'll breathe again
You'll breathe again

When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please
To tame your wild wild heart


And now a quote I've come to really appreciate for some reason:

"Why do people have to die?"
"To make life important."