What Can You Do With a Sentimental Heart?

I am sitting here on a couch in second floor lounge in Wilson Hall as my friend Robb sits here and talks to Josh. I am currently listening to Sentimental Heart by She and Him. The thought in my head: This is it. This is my home. This is the end...of the year. I would have never guessed months ago that I would have found such joy in this place and in these people. Yes I did guess I would find joy, but not in the way it has been given to me.
I still remember the first friday being here. I remember moving in and the giant flood outside of Wilson and Volkman Halls. I remember meeting my roommate and realizing that I was going to share all my space with him. I remember playing ultimate frisbee shirtless and thinking "thank God, I am home." Most importantly though I remember meeting Kyle. That night as I walked down the stairs of Wilson to head out to the field I met Kyle. We talked the whole way to the field, and I thought "I could really like this kid." Later that night I found out he is my suitemate. Soon I would find out he is my friend. Kyle is so different than me, he is quiet, super competitive, and patient, but that didn't stop us. He has pushed me to be more competitive, he has coached me and helped me appreciate sports. I have helped him understand art and creativity. Kyle is my friend.
Tonight I gave Kyle a huge hug and realized I wouldn't see him for 3 months. I also won't see my friend Mike for three months or my roomie of next year Richard. It hurts to say good-bye to people who you just want to continue knowing and learning about. It hurts to know that we will all have 3 months of changing between now and then. It hurts. However, I love these three guys, they're my guys. I wouldn't change what I have with any of them for anything.
The hardest good-bye will come when I have to say it to Ben. Ben started the year as an RA on my floor. He soon became my small-group leader. Then he became my friend. Soon after he became my accountability partner, and in the months to come he would become my lifeline. I have hardly known a friendship like Ben's in any way. I have never felt as honest and as unconditionally loved by anyone outside of my family as I have with Ben, in fact Ben knows more about me than anyone save for God. We started off our accountability with the typical stuff and as the year went by we hit some of the hardest bumps in my memory and in times of great darkness and selfishness he continued to reach back for me. When I could only find reasons to hurt him he took the blows, and in times when I needed it he made me feel like crap, but in a good way. He has allowed me to enter into his life as much as I have let him in mine. In the months following winter break I found myself in a slump of enormous depression. I sought out counseling and was diagnosed with clinical depression, and there were times even up until two weeks ago where I didn't know if I could hold on to this life, but Ben he covered me with love. Ben is my RA, my accountability partner, my friend, my lifeline, and more than anything else, he is my brother. I will miss him greatly over the summer.

This is all for now. I will continue to reflect over the rest of the week.