I Don't Want to Live In My Father's House No More
The past couple of days have past by in slow motion. I take in the world around me and I feel sick and lonely. I have a hard time eating more than one meal anymore, I can't bring myself to work. None of this is because of anyone, its me, i have low self-esteem and constantly look to my friends for approval, but now I'm trying to do without friends, they dont need me, then I shouldnt need them right? I mean I socialize at school, but i leave it at school now. I'm so tired. All the time I'm tired. I can't sleep at night and then I can't wake up. Somedays I wanna die, not kill myself but just, ya know, die or cease to exist. I'm not suicidal nor do I contemplate it, but wouldnt it be nice to not have to deal with the confusion of things in life or the people. Sure I might be ridiculous, thats fine, its nothing you haven't called me before. People comment here but then they don't call or even talk on aim. Im so tired of pretense.
I don't want to hear the noises on TV
I don't want the salesmen coming after me
I don't want to live in my father's house no more
I don't want it faster, I don't want it free
I don't want to show you what they've done to me
I don't want to live in my father's house no more
I don't want to choose black or blue
I don't want to see what they've done to you
I don't want to live in my father's house no more
Because the tide is high
And it's rising still
And I don't want to see it at my windowsill
-Windowsill by The Arcade Fire
posted by Midnight Vagabond @ 3:27 PM
30 comments
30 Comments:
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it sounds like you are suffering from depression, as i used to have this same problem. Although the self-esteem issue is not the result of depression but somewhat a part of the cause.
I would start exercising everyday even if it is a little bit, eat healthy balanced meals, and that should help out at least chemically. I would see a therapist at least a few times and also if NEEDED get on anti-depressants.
I have been feeling much better for the past two years, although I still have moments (especially during winter since i suffer from seasonal depression) but I cope just fine now.
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