I Got Chills, They're Multiplyin'

Next Wednesday I will be trying out for my school's fall play, Fahrenheit 451, I am extremely nervous, but have received much encouragement from my fellow thespians. Here I go. I'm hoping with every fiber of my being to get Beatty. :-D

One Week In and I'm Still Alive

School is now one week in and my classes are alright, Earth and Space Science is...ridiculously easy, I haven't had more than 5 minutes of homework total, this should be a nice year.

I grabbed my transcripts yesterday, next week I will send in my application to Judson College...I feel kinda bad because one of my teachers wrote up a reccomendation for me but I don't need it if I get into Judson. I have been letting the future dance around me lately, just thinking of the late night fun in Wilson Hall and wandering down the river late at night and studying out on the lawns of Judson...but i am here right now.

I am struggling to live in the now.

The fall play at Bolingbrook HS is Fahrenheit 451...can we say WOO! This will be my first time trying out for a play in high school and its Fahrenheit 451...HOW WICKED SWEET COULD THIS BE!

I think I'm finally getting things right with God again. This is much better than wandering aimlessly. much better.

Project Runway is possibly the best show I've ever watched on TV...and there is a new episode tonight...GO KAYNE!

"We live in a wheel where everyone steals and when we rise it's like strawberry fields."

Don't you wish I would just choose a college?

So it has come to my attention that I cannot decide on a college because recently I have begun pondering about my life after college. I have come to realize I need to make sure I can get a job after college, and majoring in film so specifically at Columbia may or may not offer that security. I then really wanted to double major at Columbia in film and management, but I hate business...or rather it is not something I wanna do with my life, and Columbia does not offer a double major. So then I begin to think a little more about Judson College again...yes I can hear your groaning already...and realized im take 3 art classes both semesters this year, and have now decided that this first semester will make my decision for me, if I prove apt and gifted at my fine arts classes and love 'em then I am will go to Judson College and double major in Film* and Fine Arts Education therefore providing me with an education degree and a film degree. If I prove crappy at my art classes and find it to be a lost cause then off to Columbia I will go pursuing a very indepth education in film. I think that sounds like a plan.


*the major at judson is actually called Media Studies with a concentration in Media Creation/Production and then I'd also minor in Film Studies.

Today we die to rise up tomorrow as new souls.

Today is my final day of freedom and half of it will be spent working and the other half doing laundry, but hopefully I'll be able to slip in a movie, specifically the movie Millions. I have a lot of apprehension about starting school tomorrow, but more so it's exciting because I'M ALMOST DONE with high school...the 4 most painful years of my young life. I also got a raise at work and went from 6.91 an hour to 7.32 an hour, wooo! Today I will also get my car back, yet another wooo! I'm a little flustered that I won't have a new outfit to wear to the first day of school haha. I think I will buy a yearbook this year...the first time in all of highschool, i never understood why I'd wanna remember these horrible years, but I think I do now...maybe. I look forward to getting my teachers to write up my reccomendations :-D and I'm really looking forward to my AP Art History class.

Things at TSM seem to be very shaky right now as we lose a few students who have been here during this hard and frustrating phase in our church and youth group, and I constantly wonder where our youth group will be if we let it continue to slip into cliques like it's doing...but then there is a part of me that says oh well because I'll be at college next year...and i hate doing that, but it's the truth. It definitely wouldnt hurt to hire a youth pastor soon. a good one though. for the sake of the young'ns in the group.

For some strange reason I'm glad trevor and curtis are back from their hike thing...even though t-rev isnt home, but at least now I can call him and email him...i dunno, thats cool to me...guess im weird.

I wish i had gotten more movies under my belt this summer.

I would like to officially delcare this as the first summer that I didn't waste most of my time thanks to a job and my film class. hooray.

Alright well I need to get dressed and go get my car and then go to work and then come home and eat dinner and do laundry and watch a movie and go to bed at a reasonable hour and set like 6 alarms. See ya.

Smiley

I was able to track down a ticket for brock and he was able to come to the show with me tonight.

Anathallo=AMAZING live, one of the most unique performances...unique and awesome.
Street to Nowhere=very good musicians and an amazing vocalist, i bought their CD
The Format=Catchy and fun.
Rainer Maria=hurt my ears so bad i had to leave the floor.

Had a wonderful night, and I hope brock did as well.

The Way Things Work Isn't How They Are Planned

It seems lately that I can't do anything right. I seem to annoy people, and I seem to be a screw-up, everything seems to be falling apart and I can't do anything about it. If only everything worked out like it does in the movies, if our time could fly by in a hour and 30 minutes at which point we reach a sense of contentment and understanding of life. Too bad it isn't like that at all.

I'm so excited for the college students who get to leave and move on to a new part of life, how exciting it must be for them.

Today I imagined what moving day will be like for me going to college, I can just see my parents walking out the door of my room and me just laying on my bed, smiling, knowing that I won't have to be in this house for a few months at a time.

Last night I had a dream where I told-off and expressed all my resentments and frustrations to someone(who i will not mention for the sake of being bashed or whatever) and I feel like it gave me some closure even though it was just to an imaginary form of this person.

I've screwed a lot up. Boy, oh boy.

"Oh captain, my captain."

The Sun Will Shine Out the Rain

So I found out today that I am going to be going to the Anathallo show by myself. This at first greatly distressed me...but ya know what, I'm gonna go, I have to, I wouldn't dare miss this chance to see Anathallo. I'll miss having someone there to ooo and ahh to, but that's alright.

Sometimes it kinda stinks when you get to hang out with someone a lot when someone else is gone and you think "hey, we got a really good friendship going" and then when the other person comes back you begin to feel like a thirdwheel again. yeah that stinks.

Little Miss Sunshine=smiles.

We Pack Our Bags and Move to New Horizons

Yesterday was my final day of class and I already miss it and the people. Hopefully life will lead some of us back together.
In a couple weeks I will walk back in the doors of Bolingbrook High School for my final year. I plan to make this an enjoyable year. A few weeks later I will apply to Columbia College in Chicago, but not as a full fledged film major, I am going to design my own major which will be somewhere along the lines of Film and Advertising Design or Film and Media Management, but regardless it'll be sweet.
















This is my film group, we just wrapped on our final film, from the left its John, me, Carrie, and Bob. I miss them already.

huh.

It's weird to think that for just this one class I spend a good half of my day goingthere, sitting there, and traveling home...i leave at 630 and get back around 3 in the afternoon...for one class. I am definitely glad that today is the final day. Yes I loved this class, and yes I'll miss my classmates, but I want sleep and I want some more summer vacation before high school starts back up again. I want sleep so badI almost missed my alarm this morning. Oh well, I think Ill be home early again today...maybe...but it doesnt matter because I don't work tonight.

BHS registration is slightly less painful than hell.

So here is my schedule with commentary:

1. Strength/Conditioning-Kichka--GREAT another semester of first hour gym with the world's biggest idiot as a teacher, maybe this year he won't come in with a hangover.

2. Ceramics I- Randecker--Was originally supposed to be Color and Design but thanks to the wonderful counselors at BHS it got screwed up so I chose to put Ceramics in. At least it's with Randecker who ROCKS.

3. AP Art History-Beasley-Hendrick-- SWEET!

4a. Homeroom-Benja--Whatever.

4b. Lunch--at least devin's in it.

5. Drawing Media-Beasley-Hendrick--great...another class with her.

6. AP English 12-Abney--HOORAY, i love this guy.

7. Earth and Space Science-Wayne--cool, a science class Ill actually understand with a likeable teacher.

Along with screwing up one of the classes I was really looking forward to, my ID is also screwed up, I am supposed to have "gold card" privelages, but it doesnt say it so now I need to go get that fixed, luckily I have to turn in my parking permit thing.

took about an hour or little longer to register...and I didn't even stop at all the stations. Welcome back to Bolingbrook High School where students go to kill their dreams. I am going to miss columbia very dearly. Oh well, I suppose we must make the best of things right? right.

All things relevant.

I had this dream last night where I was at the mall and all of a sudden I see Alex and Curtis walking past a window, I leave the store to talk to them and here comes Gail and Trevor, at first I am overwhelmed at the site of these 4 wonderful people but then I begin to become angry because why would they all hang out and not call me to come, why would Trevor not tell me he was coming home for a while. I was very angry and hurt and then when I began asking why Trevor and Curtis were here Jess appeared and told me to stop talking so then I went out into the parking lot and bashed up my car out of frustration and hurt and anger and then drove to Alex's house. At Alex's house I confronted him about the matter and he said he was sorry but that he was getting back at me for something that I'm still confused about, and then he spilled a dish of plastic eggs and one was a balloon and then my alarm went off. weird.

I should be able to register for my final year of high school today. o boy.

Class will be completely and totally pointless for me to attend today but when your parents pay 450 smackeroos for one class you'd better show up for even the pointless days.

I now have a nice goatee growing.

A Very Adolescent Post

It stinks to not have a girlfriend and see tons of other people with them. It also really stinks that a girl you like is a different age than you and probably has none of the same feelings. It also stinks that I am known from my anti-high school dating philosophy. Put all this together and it means that I am sad to be alone but the girl I like probably just likes me as a friend, but even if it was possible I couldn't act on my crush because I would then receive criticism for my weakness. O well.

I MADE IT

So I made it into the showcase!!! So now everyone is once again invited next wednesday to come...more details to come later on. Thanks goes out to my parents, my neighbor Kathy, Steven, Adam, Sarah H., and Sarah R. for coming, it really meant a lot to me to have you guys there supporting. Ok, well I figured I would tell you guys that, just in case you couldn't make it this time around, but would like to come.