On His Face is a Map of the World

The New Me.

nope, not a deep post, just a picture.

I Started a Joke

A lonely man's mind stirs dangerously. Perhaps I am meant to be alone, not without God, but without people, I can't ever seem to keep a good thing going, I have to screw everything up and push people away and complain and whine and talk about myself. Maybe I need to be alone, with people I am a destructive person, the time bomb in the room, set off at the most random of incidents. That's me. I don't know how I can ever have a wife or even a steady girlfriend if I can't keep my friends from tiring of me. This isn't how things were promised, maybe I am wrong, gosh, I don't know. Sometimes I wish people would go away and I could shut myself away with my art because my art cannot grow tired of me, nor I of it. I don't want people to console me because honestly no one ever has helped and I doubt a stupid "o, i'm not tired of you" is gonna do anything especially when some people that read this blog couldnt tell you the first thing about me, and to be fair I couldnt tell you the first thing about them. Maybe this is my way of saying good-bye to this piece of crap life in bolingbrook, but maybe I'm just being emotional. Leave me alone. I am tired of people who could care less about me, but keep me around for some "good" company. Screw that. I am tired of just being there and being ignored or being there and put on the spot, I just want to fit in, but maybe I haven't found the right place to fit. I try my hardest to care for the people I love unconditionally, I really do try, but its so hard when its not returned. At the end of it all I am beyond glad that God is not human, that he is capable of loving unconditionally and never tires of His people.